


The Pie Casualties of 2015

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bake Sale au, First Kiss, Fluff, Homophobic Language, M/M, Protective Castiel, Protective Dean Winchester, Protective Mary Winchester, baking goods as ammunition, basically everyone protects everyone okay, i don't know how this happened but it did?, i promise this isn't crack i prOMISE, naomi is a jerk, rip pie and cookies 2k15 - 2k15, suburban moms yelling at each other au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-08
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-04-03 09:40:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4096156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel never expected to see his mother get nailed in the face with a brownie, but sometimes miracles happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pie Casualties of 2015

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU DIDN'T READ THE TAGS
> 
> there is one use of homophobic language in this fic
> 
> be warned

"You can shove those brownies  _right_ up your ass, Mary!" 

It was the kind of sentence Castiel had never expected to hear come out of his mother's mouth. Nor did he ever think he would witness the elegant, always-composed Naomi Novak hurling insults at his best friend's mother. Cas never thought he would get to witness one of the aforementioned brownies smacking his mother in the face, either. But sometimes the unthinkable happens, and the school bake sale was serving as a perfect setting for such a monumental event. 

"Oh yeah? At least I have an ass to shove them in!" Mary's voice rang loud and true, her right hand still covered in crumbs. She leaned back and wiped her hand on her jeans, staring in that stubborn way Dean sometimes did. Castiel smiled at the resemblance, not moving fast enough away for the next onslaught of baked goods to hit him. He was a few feet away from his mother at their baking table, an assortment of cookies still resting in their containers. Naomi reached out and grabbed a chocolate chip cookie, hurling it and managing to smack Mary in the stomach. Both of the mothers had impressive aim, anyone watching could admit that. 

Castiel ducked before the returning fire, knowing that Mary must have had help that time. He peeked over the edge and sure enough, Sam and Dean were at her side. Sam jerked his head to the side, signaling for Cas to leave, but he didn't know what would happen at home if his mother realized he'd abandoned her. He reached up and halfheartedly chucked a cookie over the edge, the treat landing somewhere on the grass in the ten feet separating their baking tables. He shrugged when Dean gave him a questioning look, ducking back behind the table when he saw Mary grab her prize-winning apple pie and hurl it into the air. 

"Mary, were you aware that it's a bake sale, not a baked-goods-you-bought-at-the-store sale?" Naomi shouted, lobbing the cookies as rapidly as possible.

She managed to hit Sam in the face and nail Dean in the shoulder, Mary dodging the discs with a kind of speed that surprised Castiel. He began to crawl around his mother, using the other tables to shield himself from any baked debris. The other moms and kids at the sale were staring in awe at the serene and friendly Mary Winchester doing her best to blind another mother with chunks of brownie. Mary, one of the most welcoming and accepting in the entire neighborhood, standing her ground and shouting insults with a tongue no one had expected to be that sharp. 

"Says the woman that didn't even bother to bring snacks for the PTA meeting  _three weeks in a row!"_

Naomi's gasp was audible to everyone, an expression containing such calm fury that Castiel was terrified of what was about to come out of her mouth next. Shoulders rolling back and her posture stiffening, they all watched with bated breath as Naomi stood at her full height, expression once more a mask of composed anger. Castiel finished crawling the rest of the way to the Winchesters' table, the brothers crouching down beside him and dusting the crumbs off of his beige hoodie. Dean apologized quickly, eyes wide and an embarrassed look covering his features. 

"At least my son isn't a faggot, Mary." 

Castiel's blood ran cold. 

"What did you just call my son?" 

Before Mary could react, Castiel stood up; eyebrows drawn low, mouth set into a snarl. He'd heard those words targeted at Dean ever since he accidentally told someone at a party, had watched his best friend break down in tears and fury when his former friends cut him out of their lives and sneered whenever he walked past. Castiel may or may not have broken noses when that happened, and he wouldn't hesitate to break another. Even if it was his mother's.

"Oh  _please,_ Mary! You think I don't see how he looks at my boy? Just waiting for the right chance to turn him into one of  _those,"_ Naomi lifted her head up higher, eyes sharp and dagger-like. "Look, even my Castiel can see how disgusting he is! Come here, Castiel." 

Cas' fists were clenched at his sides, red clouding his vision. He took two steps to get out from behind the table, grabbing Mary's pecan pie as he went. It took seven short steps to get to the Novak baking table, their crappy cookies and store-bought pastries looking sad in the afternoon light. Castiel turned back once, eyes connecting with the fire in Mary's expression. 

"I apologize for wasting your pie, Mrs. Winchester," he said, voice controlled and rough. 

 

***

 

In later years, Dean would recount the next events like this: "It happened in slow motion, I swear! Cas apologized to Mom and then turned back around, right? And me and Sammy were confused as hell until he just fucking  _launches it_ at her face! I mean, this was almost point-blank pie throwing! And this woman just  _screams,_ and there's all this pie on her fancy-ass suit and her makeup is ruined and Cas didn't even stay to watch, he just walks back over to us and said he was sorry again. Then he walked off, like one of those heroes in the movies with the explosion behind them. Except the only explosion this time was a bunch of cheering from the other moms and shit. Damn, that had to be one of the best moments of my  _life."_

 

***

 

Cas didn't know where to go. He couldn't go home, or his mother would kill him. He couldn't go to Dean's, because they might never want to see him again. Charlie was out of town, Kevin was sick, and he didn't know Ash well enough. So he walked to the end of the neighborhood, all the way to the last cul-de-sac with houses that were in shambles and the only inhabitants were birds or bats. He sat heavily on the curb, unzipping his hoodie and throwing it on the ground next to him. It was his favorite thing to wear -- soft on the inside and with sleeves long enough that he could pull them down and hide his hands -- but it had been a present from his mother. Everything associated with  _Naomi_ now seemed bitter and cold, vile and cruel. 

In eight words, any love he'd ever had for her evaporated. 

Castiel tried not to cry, but tears came anyway. They always did, no matter what. He was seventeen years old and yet he couldn't help the wetness on his cheeks, the way his breath hitched and his shoulders shook. After a good few minutes of sobbing, he felt himself grow too tired to cry anymore. Exhaustion overwhelmed him, the fact that he most likely no longer had a home hanging over his head. And now he didn't even have a best friend to help him through it. After all, why would Dean  _possibly_ still want to see him after what his mother had said? Knowing that her very own son might think the same thing, despite his claims to support Dean no matter what? 

Before another round of sobbing could overtake him, Castiel heard footsteps, followed by a gentle  _thud_ next to him. A rather happy-looking Dean was next to him when Cas looked up, a shy smile adorning his features. He looked beautiful, but Dean always looked beautiful; waking up after spending the night with sleep-pink cheeks and bedhead, covered in dirt and grass after running around with Sam and their dog, hiding a blush whenever Cas told him just how lovely he looked. 

"Hey, Cas."

"Why do you want to see me?" The words came out harsher than intended, but it's too late for Cas to take them back. Dean's expression doesn't change but for a brief second, eyes glancing away and mouth turning down. Then the smile was back.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Facing him was something Cas couldn't do. "She called you those awful things, Dean. Why would you want to see me after she did something like that to you?"

Dean looks confused for a moment, his gaze one again flicking to the ground. "You didn't do that, Cas.  _She_ did. Besides, I kinda had to thank you for throwing a pie in her face. That was fucking _incredible_ _,_ Cas!" Dean's smile turns bright, a hand coming up to shake Cas' shoulder. "You just got up and -- that was practically out of a fucking book or something! You didn't see Mom's face, but she was about two seconds away from claiming you as her third son."

He huffed out a laugh, smiling softly at the boy next to him. After a moment, the realization hit him again and his face crumpled. He didn't want to cry in front of Dean, he _couldn't._  "I don't have a home, Dean... what am I supposed to do? We still have a year of school left and --"

"Hey, hey, it's okay, Cas. I promise it's gonna be okay," Dean threw an arm around Castiel's shoulders, dragging him in for a hug. It wasn't comfortable -- the curb was digging into their thighs and the night was getting cold, but Dean was hugging him and Cas could smell cinnamon where his face was pressed into the crook of Dean's neck. 

"You're gonna be okay, Cas. It's my turn to protect you, I won't let anything happen to you," Dean's voice was quieter, the words coming out in a rush against Castiel's shoulder. 

A silence hung in the air around them, light from the sun almost entirely gone. The distant sound of cars was their only background noise, cars driving past and the sound of their breathing. It felt calm and peaceful, so quiet after the chaos from earlier. 

"Thank you, Dean."

The words were sighed against his freckled skin, warm and soft compared to the chilly air around them. Dean pulled back, a hand coming up to rest against Cas' cheek. There were fresh tears running down his cheeks, but in gratitude instead of sorrow this time. He managed a quick smile, Dean grinning right back. He looked so stunning in the dusk that Cas didn't think twice about leaning forward and kissing Dean's cheek, almost catching the corner of his mouth. 

Cas  _did_ think about the way Dean's breath hitched and his back stiffened under Castiel's hand. He thought about the way he'd ruined everything  _seconds_ after finding a way to fix his life. Castiel thought about the cars driving in the distance and how much he wanted to throw himself in front of one.

"Dean -- I'm so sorry, I wasn't thinking --"

The air grew silent again as Dean kissed Castiel, hand finding a way into his hair and carding through the soft strands. Cas pulled Dean in tighter, arms tight around his waist while Dean busied both hands with the fluffiness of Castiel's hair. The kiss was sweet, Dean's mouth not pushing hard or trying to get Castiel to hurry. Their lips were both cold from the air, but grew hot as they continued to move their mouths together. After a few moments, Cas tentatively ran his tongue across Dean's bottom lip. The other boy let out a soft sigh, a tender sound that Cas fell in love with immediately. Once Dean's tongue got involved as well, sighs turned to moans; Castiel pulled away, knowing that red stained his cheeks just like Dean's. 

"That was... uh," Dean couldn't help staring at Cas' mouth, tongue wetting his lips again while he panted for breath. 

"Good," Cas supplied, reaching to grab Dean's hand and hold their palms together. Dean grinned at the gesture, smile somehow seeming brighter than the stars themselves. 

"Yeah, Cas. Really good."

They sat in silence for another few minutes, staring at each other or the sky above. Eventually, they stood together and began the walk to Dean's house, fingers cold but hearts warm. "Y'know what, Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Now you get to learn my mom's pie recipes. So then we'll have  _twice_ the amount of pie ammo for next year," Dean laughed, hand squeezing Castiel's lightly. 

"And I'll be able to make up for the ones wasted this year," Castiel pointed out, the corners of his mouth curling up into a smile. 

Dean sighed dramatically, clutching one hand to his chest. "The pie casualties of 2015." 

They laughed the rest of the way home, arriving at the door to a welcoming family and a pie that Sam had managed to salvage. 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed! feedback of any kind is extremely appreciated 
> 
> also i promise i am working on a winchester acc. sequel but i had to get some fluff out of my system first
> 
> also also sorry for the dumb title, titling is hard


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